Needy

by Lori Ann

Indestructibles

Sometimes, on the hard days, I think to myself, “Come on baby, Mama has needs too, and who’s meeting them?” Then Jesus answers my heart, in the most loving and tender way possible, “I am, and if you’re seeking for someone else to meet your needs, you’re the one in the wrong – not her.” And I look at my darling baby, and have compassion for her neediness, and know that He’s right.

How do you cope on the hard, everyone-needs-you, no-one-gives-Mama-a-break days?

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6 Comments

Filed under baby, Family, Life

6 responses to “Needy

  1. favorite aunt suzy

    You are right about the “no one gives mama a break” days. I have them all the time! I wouldn’t change my life for anything, but there are days that I think: Oh, to lay on the couch with a good book for an hour! But instead a grab a cup of hot tea and take 5 minutes to hop online and checkout MamaWit or check my email. My kids have learned that when I have a tea cup in hand, leave me be for a few minutes! It is not long, but it is enough, until bedtime!!

    • I love that your kids have learned to take the tea cup as a sign to leave you alone! We have a chair that pre-baby meant “I need to not be talked to right now,” I should reinstitute that as soon as she’s old enough to understand!

  2. I have a lot of those days, too. Especially now; it seems like each of mine are in a particularly “needy” stage, and with my husband rarely home due to work, I can get pretty overwhelmed with all the demands of caring for three littl’uns as well as a home. Don’t think Tigger is too young to start understanding, Lah! Since Dylan was able to walk we have had a “chill-out or time-out” policy at our house. Whenever ANY household member feels angry, stressed, or just needs time alone, they can grab their “chill-out” card and hang it on the doorknob of their bedroom before their attitude gets them in trouble. With that card on the door, they are allotted 10 minutes to themselves, to calm down and have a moment of peace, no questions asked. No one is allowed to enter the room, call their name, or in any other way bother them. The only condition is if they were asked to complete a time-sensitive task, it get done before the chill-out time. (Payten likes to try to use his to get out of certain chores.) Payten is the only one so far who uses his, but Dylan is starting to with prodding, and Madison understands to respect others’ “chill-out” time. She usually sits right outside the door until the person has emerged, 🙂 but she doesn’t pester them! It has helped us all, especially in those needy moments. There will be days when the kids still whine and holler outside the door until I’ve taken my ten, but for the most part I am able to take a breather, and the kids put their demands on hold for a few minutes. In fact, I’ve found that the kids will often resolve whatever issue caused the commotion while I’m “chilling.” They know better than to fight and make me leave before the ten minutes is up, so they are able to figure out a solution without anger. I think, too, having the freedom to take their own break has given them a greater respect and understanding of my need to take a few. (My chill-out room, btw, comes equipped with a supply of chocolate, a bible, and a CD of soft, gentle music.)

  3. When I desperately need a break, I’ve been know to put in a video. He’ll only watch for about ten minutes on his own, but it’s enough time to sit down. Since he’s still napping, I get most of my time for myself during naps. I feel majorly ripped off when he takes a short nap!

  4. I can absolutely relate. With a husband on a Coast Guard cutter (60 day patrols, away from home), an almost three-year-old who is as sensitive and enthusiastic as the day is long, and an almost three-month-old, my days often get to the “who is here for ME!? Who’s going to take care of mommy!!!!?” moment.

    At my breaking point, when I feel my anxiety building up, and I just feel like lashing out at something or just plain giving up, I hear the same whisper you do, mama! God says, “Amy, I’m here. And I never leave you.” Isn’t it amazing – His love for us!?

    Psalm 121 is one of my very favorites. “I lift my eyes up to the hills. Where does my help come from? My help comes from the Lord, the maker of Heaven and Earth”

    Happy mama-ing! I’m with you, girl!

    • Thanks for sharing, Mama! I’m having another one of those days as I read this and appreciated your shared experience and the reminder that He never leaves us, and that He is our help!

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